The Salesmen
by WrittenArt
Summary: Luigi and Yoshi are starting on a back-up job other than working for Nintendo,they just finished building a new store called LuigiMart in honor of the Mario team, but in the process forgetting Mario's birthday and even bigger events! Cross-dressing, parties,sibling rivalries, awkward parent conversations, and boring shifts await.
1. The madness begins

**NOTE: I DO NOT OWN NINTENDO IF I DID I'D BE RICH. Oh, and LuigiMart is fiction…entirely…if you are looking for an all-purpose store; just go to Target…or Wal-Mart. :) enjoy!**

**Yoshi's POV**

_It all started when I tried to support Luigi at his new job…I was also looking for one also….._

"Alright! Places everyone! Somebody help Luigi over here! Now-"a gray haired man with icy blue eyes screamed and yelled. This man is a ticking time bomb…literally. "Um, …can we start now?" I asked gingerly. He turned his head quickly and looked at me. "Fine. Lights1 Camera! Action!" he yelled at the staff. I took at deep breath, Luigi was done with his version of the commercial, but for some odd reason Mr. Yamo wanted me to do it this _twelve_ times. This was my final try before I go home. "We now interrupt your regularly scheduled program for a world- wide announcement. **LUIGIMART IS BACK IN BUSSINESS**!" I exclaimed. Mr. Yamo looked pleased. "Now with all new places and locations! Our most important location is in the Mushroom Kingdom where all these new exciting things take place. We have a private adult spa for relaxation from those little brats you can you kids-"'Crap_!'_ I knew I'd mess up. "CUT! YOSHI WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?"

"My apologizes Mr. Yamo I just think I need-"

"YOU _THINK_? SEE EVERYONE THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY! Just go and take a break turtle boy." I controlled my buried anger at this old goon. '_I'm a_ _dinosaur...not a turtle_.' I thought. "Then I'll be taking a break for the rest of the day, thank you." I grumbled. I started to walk away; turned back I saw that Mr. Yamo was gone. I swear this old goon is a ninja! I turned back to the direction of the dressing rooms and walked quickly; no way was I going to be yelled at just because I think some adults hate their children sometimes. Geez.

I opened my dressing room and what do you know? Luigi is sitting at my mirror desk rummaging through my stuff. Sitting in my new chair...Yes, _new_. I don't care…as long as he didn't 'accidentally' rip any of my pictures from the photo gallery. I glance right, oh good! He didn't even touch the right side of anything…great! I ran to the other side of my room, and then I started at a picture of me and my girlfriend, Birdo, at the resort in Rio, Brazil.

That was a great two week long trip…two weeks away from Luigi and Daisy. Now all I need is a century away from Mr. Yamo. Then I saw a picture of me and a Sonic character named Silver, standing together and waving with gold medals on our necks. Hmm…where were we anyway? I think it was London…right! I do see Queen Elizabeth, of the House of Windsor, smiling in the top stands. It's very rare that you see royalty enjoying the Olympics in person. "Hey…Yoshi?"

I stand up. Luigi is not facing me and sounds very shy all of a sudden. Weird. "Yeah?"

"Were do you keep your make-up?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Um…actually I don't _really_ use it…I think it would be in the first drawer." No man has ever asked me for make-up…_ever_. "Oh…okay." Luigi fell silent for a good four minutes. Then he spoke again. "Yoshi…don't scream if I turn around, okay?" "Um…okay." I replied gingerly. What is up with him today? Then he stood and turned around. My mouth gaped open and no sound came out. I can't believe this! Luigi was in a green dress and had contacts in and had on high heels….and his hair was done and he had lipstick, eye shadow and eyeliner!_ EYELINER!_ Of all the craziness…is my friend becoming a cross-dresser? "Thanks for not screaming…I can explain. Now Daisy-"

"OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?" I yelled at him, blushing. Somehow he made a good looking woman. But it's Luigi…so I kept on reminding myself. "I told you not to yell! Now Daisy told me to dress up as a woman to prank Mario for his birthday party tonight and-"

I groaned. I forgot. "Don't tell me you forgot Mario's birthday!"Luigi said disappointed and folding his arms. He tapped his foot and sighed "You did…didn't you?" I nodded sadly.

"Yoshi! This one's important! Mario is now 31 and you forgot?"

"Yes." I added guiltily. How could I forget the 31 year old plumber, Peach and spaghetti loving, Italian man? Have I really been working _that_ hard? "Luigi can you help me find a-"

"Call me Luigiana when I'm in a dress please." Luigi- no- _Luigiana_ added confidently. He was really into this. "Um okay. Luigiana can you please help me find Mario a present for his birthday?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I have to get my nails done, then I'm getting a new dress, then I have to catch a ride from my girlfriend Daisy, then pick up Peach, then-"

He was really enjoying this…wow.

"Whatever! You can do that later!"

"Fine."

"Yay! Mission accomplished!" I yelled happily. Luigi was the one with the ride anyway. Yes…my car suffered from Mr. Yamo's fury as well as my old chair in my dressing room. "But were going to LuigiMart to find something."

"Crap."

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><p><strong>Well <em>that<em> was a werid first chapter! I stayed up half of all last night for that! Fanfiction was being mean to me last night. And yes, I got furious.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

_**~Carnation Princess**_


	2. Luigiana met LUIGIMART

**NOTE: I DO NOT OWN NINTENDO IF I DID I'D BE RICH. Oh, and LuigiMart is fiction…entirely…if you are looking for an all-purpose store; just go to Target…or Wal-Mart. :) enjoy!**

**Luigi's POV**

**(Or Luigiana's if you like to say that…)**

_One awkward car ride later…_

"Well here we are!" I said in a girlish voice just to annoy him. Yoshi cut his eyes at me and growled. "Fine, I won't annoy you with my southern belle accent anymore. I love the south for some reason!" "Whatever, let's just get in for a birthday card and get out." I frowned, ugh he _had _to ruin my mood and act emo! "All right, all right! Don't get you panties in a bunch."

"I don't like that word." he said uncomfortably.

"I don't think any man does." I said in the impersonation of a sweet southerner. "Stop it!" Yoshi said covering his ears. I lifted my dress in order to cross a humongous puddle. "Let me help miss." A guard said as he placed his jacket in the muddy puddle. It was leather… so I think it'd shrink. Whistles were heard as soon as I re-lifted my dress. "Hey hot stuff! I'm so cold over here. Why don't you come over and make it warm for me?" a man said. He was buff, but it looked like the effect of steroids. "Lay off! This is my… um… _sister_ you're talking to! Have some respect!" Yoshi yelled like Mr. Yamo a bit. Now _**that **_was ironic. Now if I was a real girl this guy wouldn't get past my dad. Um…never mind that! We safely crossed the street and had stepped inside of LuigiMart. I'm glad I was wearing the dress…not like I _want_ to be a chick, but if I would have came in here so many people will ask me for discounts. "Yoshi?"

Yoshi turned around slowly his face pale. "B-Birdo?"

"Yoshi! I can't believe it! I haven't seen you since the trip to London! Um… who's she?" Birdo pointed to me and was confused. But she was hiding hurt beneath it. "Um… this is Luigiana! She's a woman who needed my help so I told her I'd drop her off were she last saw her husband! Isn't that right, ma'am?" Yoshi winked at me so I would understand. A good lie, it was. But Birdo wasn't buying it. She ran up to me glaring me in the face. She then slowly but not making it oblivious she pulled of my wing of black hair. "LUIGI WANT ARE YOU DONING HE-"I quickly grabbed my wing and placed my manicured hands over her mouth. "SHHHH!"

Yoshi quickly told the crowd that their 'hero' and founder of the store wasn't here. It was just a mistake. The people sighed sadly. Yoshi dragged me and Birdo in a supply closet and turned on the light and locked the door. "Now I'm going to remove my hand. And when I do, I want you to calm down." Birdo blinked twice. "She understands." Yoshi said notifying me. "Why are you a WOMAN?"Birdo screamed terrified. Am I ugly as a woman? Nah, I'm hot. "I am not a creep, cross-dresser or anything! It was a bet! Daisy dared me to-" So I told her Daisy's plan for Mario's birthday tonight and how if I did it she would let me take her one a date. "Well…that's not very interesting. Like the plot of this story!" **HEY I HEARD THAT!" **a voice boomed over our heads. "I'm sorry!" **"Uh-huh." **"So anyway, yes not very interesting. But I came with Yoshi to help me find a birthday present from him to give to Mario." Birdo sighed. "Well, I know a perfect present for the red shirt, overall wearing, Peach loving, Mario. Come follow me."

We reached aisle 10, which was filled with good presents and gift cards, cards, balloons, and cake batter. "So what would he like?" "Actually, Peach related stuff-"Other than that!" she sighed. "Um.., something red." "Okay… that sure helped. How about this a cake with a picture of him jumping over a goomba? Is that good?" she asked. That was perfect! "Yes! Can you get that done in 30 minutes?" I asked eager to see Daisy at the party. "Huh. Yeah, if Yolanda is back there. Hey, mopping guy!"

An old man looked up. "Yep?"

"Is Yolanda back there?"

"Yes!"

"Thanks! Put in this order for me."

Wow, my mart is awesome.


	3. Old Family Wounds

**Why hello! Thanks to those who reviewed. It makes me happy. Plus, there is a moment of Italian in this. :D**

**Special thanks to kookylover98 and maddiek18 you guys really made me happy, inspiring me to keep going. I WAS working on another version of chapter 3 but, it was so...bad. (In my opinion) Today I had no school due to the snow Maryland got...YES! So today I'll be stuck on the computer for hours. (I've been on it since 9:00 am)**

**I DON'T OWN NINTENDO AND I'TS CHARACTERS.**

**ENJOY!**

**~CP**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Old Family Wounds<strong>

**Luigi's POV**

Now like I said, my mart is awesome.

Birdo and Yolanda got the cake ready in about what 30 seconds flat? Yeah, something like that. But, whoa! I never ever saw such a beautiful cake in my life! Considering that ever year on my birthday my parents bought me nothing but job applications and *ahem*..."protection" since my mother whined on about not getting someone as "energetic and bubbly" as Ms. Princess Daisy of Sarasaland pregnant to soon or something like that(Even though I insisted that we never gotten farther than kissing each other). Anyways, on with what happened:

"Wow, this is beautiful Yolanda! What type of cake is it?" I said, trying to resist from shoving the glorious dessert in my mouth. The elderly woman grinned, her green eyes sparkling. "It's yellow cake, with buttercream frosting. I used the sweet red icing myself so when you eat it it's not bitter." Yoshi yawned. "All this talk about cake and such just wants me to eat it and go to Mario's birthday party, **WHICH HAD STARTED 5 MINTUES AGO****!**"

"OH,**CRAP**! Yolanda, thanks for** all** your help and Birdo, God bless your soul for dealing with this whiner."

"**HEY!**"

"Sorry but we've got to get going! I'll pay you guys later!" I called as I was yanked from the girls by Yoshi with the cake in his other hand. The green dinosaur stormed out of Luigi-Mart without giving me time to put my disguise back on. "Wait, Y-Yoshi! Let me put my dress back on!"

"Nope, your **beloved** costumers will just have to see you with **irresistible** long flowing fake hair!" he said grinning. Oh he was doing this on purpose...and I know _exactly_ how to get him back...

"OMG! IS THAT LUIGI? WITH AMAZINGLY LONG HAIR?!" squealed a woman in the dress department of the store. All the women, and surprisingly men, in the store rushed after me. And just to make it worse Yoshi was walking, very slowly! God I am going to prank him so hard!Miraculously we survived, and so did the cake.

We arrived at Peach's castle with the cake in Yoshi's car. We walked in surprised that Daisy, the girl who I was _supposed_ to pick up was already there... and she was pissed too. "LUIGI! YOUR LATE!" she screamed, causing Mario, the man of the hour,(isn't he always?) to turn around and yell excitedly while running to me, our parents behind him. " Luigi, were have you been? I thought you were kidnapped and I had to come and rescue you again!"

I smiled a bit angrily. "Yeah, no. Yoshi and I just got caught up in buying you this." I said as I thought: 'I'm so glad I don't have on my Luigiana costume on. Dad would be so disappointed that the child that looks like him is dressed as a woman...' Yoshi set the cake on the table while I was currently in a stare down contest with my father. It took 3 long minutes for him to break the ice...with a embarrassing question.

"E'bello vederti! Allora, hai inchiodato Daisy ancora?"*

Sorry, my parents act like they don't know English... -.-'

"Ugh...No papa. Stiamo parlando con calma..."* I blushed furiously, as he laughed loudly, when Mario softly elbowed Dad. "Vieni qui Daisy! Mi piacerebbe conoscerti meglio!"* He waved Daisy over, even though Daisy knew no such Italian she noticed the gesture. "What is it sir?"

My father gave a confused stare. "Cosa ha detto, Luigi?" "Um...Chiede quello che volevi Papa..."* I never liked to speak Italian in front of Daisy. And my father knows English...though he _lies_ that he doesn't...he can be a jerk at times. After I replied in my native language, Daisy looked at me with wide eyes. "Ah, lei non conosce la lingua Italiana?" my father scoffed. "Che disgrazia..."*

"Father! Don't be so horrible! Solo perche Luigi non parlare Italiano di fronte a Daisy non ha compensato per le parolacce!"* Mario quickly froze, realizing what he said...trying to protect his little brother again. My father's eyes widened in shock.

"Um, Luigi? I don't mean to be a bother to your father...he sounds upset. What is he saying?"

"Nothing. He's saying nothing..." I started to clench my jaw up in anger. "Why is it such a big deal? I don't like speaking Italian in front of her because she doesn't **understand** Papa!" I screamed at my father. **"Allora perche non insegnarle?!"***

_"**Because I don't want to force her!"**_

_**"WELL IF YOU PLAN TO MARRY HER SOMEDAY, MAYBE SHE SHOULD LEARN THE BASICS OF YOUR NATIVE LINGUA!"*** _my father yelled, his Italian accent carrying though his English, his blue eyes blazed in anger. Now I knew I was in deep trouble. And this time I can blame my oh so talented brother, Mario, for saying the secret I've been trying to keep from dad since I met Daisy. "I didn't know that I was such a big problem..." the brunette whispered, hanging her head down as my father and I glared ice cold daggers at each other. My mother sighed. I could tell she was disappointed in me, she said calmly in her Italian accented English;"Luigi, it's alright-"

"No, no it's not! Everything **_I_ **do is wrong in his eyes! He doesn't even give me chances to explain myself. It's just: 'Luigi you disappoint me. Luigi why aren't you as good as Mario? Why can't you stop doing this and that and this.' He needs to at least hear why I do things! Maybe it's because I want to be **_Luigi_**, not **_Mario #2_**! Have you ever thought about **_that_** papa?" I said in a rush of anger and hurt.

I heard Daisy begin to sniff. Tears ran down her face as she yelled. "This was supposed to be a party! _**A SUPRIZE**_! A time for me to _**ACTUALLY**_ meet your parents and _**THIS** _is what _**I** _get?!I hope that your 'so called' father is happy with himself and I hope that he rots in _**HELL**_! Mario if your **_'papa'_** can't understand _**THAT**_, I don't know _**WHAT**_ he can! You can tell him _**THAT**_!" She stormed off, leaving Father, Mother, Mario, me and everyone to stand there in silence. Even Wario and Waluigi stayed silent and serious for once. "I hope your happy." I said to my father, before going after my girlfriend.

* * *

><p>First *- Good to see you. So, have you 'nailed' Daisy yet?<p>

Second *- Um...no dad. We're taking it slow.

Third *-Come here Daisy! I would like to get to know you better!

Fourth *-What did she say?

Fifth *-She asked what you wanted dad.

Sixth *- Ah, she doesn't know Italian? What a disgrace.

Seventh *-Just because Luigi doesn't like to speak Italian in front of Daisy, doesn't make up for your rude words!

Eighth *- Then why not teach her?

Ninth *- Language

**Wow, I am very impressed with this chapter. I began like: OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO WRITE?! But then my ideas flowed like water and a rainbow burst in my brain. I hope you guys enjoyed! This is my favorite chapter! Even if it's still short in my opinion... READ+REVIEW= HAPPY CP AND MORE CHAPTERS.**

**~CP**


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